Curiosity.

Curiosity killed the cat. XD

make me think of someone. but her version is curiosity killed the pig. LOLx

Concerning about sleep hoh...

Sunday 8am class

Monday 8am class

Tuesday 8am class

Wednesday 8am class

Thursday 8am class

Friday 8am church

Saturday wake up as late as you can.

However, 6 out of 7 days in a week is waking up early,do you think I can sleep until sun shine on my butt? oh well,rainy season. No sun in the morning. Okay,I have to accept that then. LOLx

Arrghhhhhh.. W.H.Y.?? This semester......like that?

IT's LIKE THAT. =\

Don't ask,just accept it... I think I need to go to bed earlier. Hmmmmm.. yea,I should. hehehe~ Sleep(all time favorite pastime). Or nap?

大家好，我是

大学生

牺牲睡眠

拼学业

戴上面具

撑完今天

寂寞夜里

孤枕难眠

Ordinary day.

Early in the morning,my phone dropped from my bed. Serve me right,who ask me to bring it to bed. Laziness costs.

It's raining. And it's cold.

Nothing more heart warming than a cup of hot milo. satisfying...

Sharing umbrella is an act of kindness. Something like that doesn't need thank you. :) anyway,it's my pleasure.

Suddenly thought of this : I like to walk in the rain so that no one will see me crying.

When was the last time I play in the rain? hmmmmm.. haha

Connection sucks. I can't log in to so many websites. It's frustrating sometimes.

I think i got not enough sleep. Was so sleepy after lunch. Zzzzz

I supposed this kinda thing happens when I come back here. =\

stranger's story

It's a secret untold.

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

27/12

sometimes it's not easy to let go what you have been holding on for so long. However,if you think things get better and simpler by doing so,go ahead. It's meant to be like that. If it truly belongs to you,it would come back...someday,somehow. I believe.

First day of school was ok. Looking at the packed schedule freak me out. Hope i survive looooo.. XD walked a lot,my muscles are all tensed now. =\

I missed my dog... somebody help~~ I need someone to talk to....

and why did i keep bumping into her today? hahaha... anyway,great to see everyone again in school. ;)

ohoi

Pig,can I have....

huggies

peppermint ice cream

butterflies

and pressies!?

I miss you. =))

It's like a dream.

It's like a dream.

Today I opened my eyes,

I was on a double decker bed.

My mind thought back one month ago.

I packed my stuff,kept them in the store room,ended up jelly limbs.

fire drill,tiger face cloud,church,porridge from kebun sultan...

then I'm off to Kuching.

Many things happened during my holiday.

Kolo mee,beef noodles,laksa,kueh chap,spinach noodles,prawn crackers...

I've eaten all the ho liao before i came back.

Legion meeting,spring cleaning in church,children christmas party,prayer in the hospital and funeral,confession,christmas eve mass with my family....

I've been through a lot in church and have grown up a bit in faith.

Yam cha,movies,phone calls,smses,sing k,gunung gading...

I've had so much fun with my friends.

Arguments,parents quarreled,cried alone,cried together with my sister,share my problem with my dog,wrote a letter to my mum,knew something which I'm not supposed to know...

Pity heart hurt,healed,hurt and healed... memories never die.

I've realized life is not always sugary. And I must appreciate what I have.

I need the Lord to give me strength. I need my friends to support me. I wish everyone at home never stop fighting for love and peace. I hope myself can be more independent and reliable.

It's like a dream.

wake up,and I'm back to usmkk again.

To my family,friends and whoever drop by my blog! ♥♥

Merry Christmas

n

Happy New Year

Another friend has gone to see God.

May you rest in peace,my friend. Although unbearable,I think you're now with God and Mother Mary in heaven dy. :) you had always been a good friend. Wherever you're there,the place for sure to have the loudest laugh. Gonna miss your smile,your encouragement and everything. bye bye! :')

Appreciate life for we don't know when is the day God will call us back. Always be ready and pray for ourselves,each other and the souls of our loved one. Amen.

as holiday ends soon

initially,wanted to jio my sister go sing k de...

dad went out.

talked to my sister.

she decided not to go.

to keep my mum company.

and she told me.

we can't blame her for playing online game every night.

because she can't go out.

mum is alone at home.

and of course she got nothing better to do.

talking about why she doesn't want to learn to drive.

again,if she learn to drive,

i know she'll be used by my dad.

'coz dad can just ask my sister to drive my mum

whenever my mum want to go out

somemore,at midnight,if dad's not home

sure she'd be dragged by my mum while masih mimpi mimpi

to drive to look for my dad in the night club

unbelievable? embarrassing? pity?

thats what i experience recently.

i suppose big fat sheep just doesn't want to be the second me

and she asked me,

sang,hows your holiday?

got happy?

i fake my smile and said

happyyyy,very exciting le

every night no need to sleep

become an owl

and i encouraged her to be strong

she told me

I'm strong,if not,I've already gone crazy.

you see,

we as children are quite innocent

when parents quarrel

haiz..when we complain until no one listen

when we're all time alone

we're forced to be strong

we're strong because we have to

we smile because we're sick of crying dy

i learnt that

everything happen for a reason

can't just see things from one perspective

anyway,life still goes on.

be strong and lift it to God.

everything will be fine.

as Christmas zoom in,Lord,all i want is the whole family go and attend mass together. thats all i want...

hehehe

HUH?

Reflection

Shoot. Just realized I have taken so many things for granted.

It's a trap. A self-setting trap. Why do i ever do that to myself?

Without notice,I involve so many innocent people too.

I think I screwed up this time.

I'm sorry.

and thank you.

They are right.

If it is solved,I don't deserve the credit. It's God's mercy and grace.

If it doesn't,it's not my fault and I can't control it.

Sister said chill,it's not the first time.

Come to think of it,

yea,ever since I was small,things happened and it's still happening.

Just who am I and what ability I have to change everything

that has been a habit

or a practice at home for nearly two decades?

well,I should let go.

However,it doesn't mean that I give up.

I can only do whatever I can do.

Most importantly,LET GOD!

Esther Song,stop mopey and let God.

Why are you holding so tight on the broken pieces and hurt yourself?

Gosh,I seriously hatta quit feeling bad and be strong.

Come on,you can do it!!!!

I WANT A PEACEFUL CHRISTMAS AND A CAREFREE LIFE!!!!

再苦，也要勇敢走下去

微笑是对自己的懂事

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Christmas,season of Love,season of JOY!

party after party! wow!! i somehow think that party is only for kids recently. me as a young adult can only help other people to jaga anak. LOLx

first,it was my previous working place year end party. i guess every teacher would feel very happy and satisfied when your students remember you. when they say things like when are you coming back,we miss you,you got miss us or not ah? you actually felt happy. lil thing but make me happy. i only hope every kids i encountered to have fun and have a happy childhood like i do. =))

next,children Christmas party aka Jesus birthday party. again,deal with kids. hahaha.. lagi teruk,jadi emcee this time. hatta joke,play with those kids. and kids do like to sit on my lap and want me to hug them. LOLx. of course i look friendly when i don't show the cool face. and some friends who haven't seen me for ages actually told me i look different. well,i just don't act cute in front of adults,doesn't mean that i don't. hehehe.. and talked to Leonard,a guy who i dislike before. i really never thought that God will bring us together and give me the courage to approach him and talk to him again. wow,i really salute myself. it's better to have a friend than a foe right? forgive and befriend. and another sweat thing,the organizer introduced me to the kids as an aunty? HALO? aunty??? i'm only 20! hmph!! gosh,do i look that old??? *sob*

today outside church after evening mass,suddenly heard an aunty shouting,"ah sang,keys le?" at the same time,i was looking for my car keys. LOLx,cute coincidence. my sister was like who called you? then both of us laughed. what to do? with a "pasar" name,many people actually have the same name like mine.

pisang->princess->lucky star->pig. guess who? X)

pissed off

you know,i really don't want to hate you. but seriously,you take all things for granted. you don't appreciate us. you don't know our needs. you don't care enough for us. all you do is put food on the table. you yell. you shout. you're selfish. you upset us. you deserve all the cold shoulder.

however,you're my dad. i really don't like the way you put me into trouble. i hate the fact that you irritate me,irritate everyone at home. just whats wrong with you!? what if one day i also don't care anymore,will you be happy? or should i say you ask for it? i really don't know how long would i tolerate with you. everyone at home except my mum are against you ady,can't you sense that?

sickening!

BOILING INSIDE!

God,pls have mercy and help me to forgive...

i don't want to grow up!!!!!

this morning...

me : ah mi,lu wu siok wa boh?

ah mi : ah neh tua liao kok ai lang sayang?

me : apalah,tua liao jiu mian sayang liao meh?

ah mi : lu lang kok wu jiak tiok leng. wa seh eh si kan tu boh leng jiak......

bla bla bla...

big fat sheep already ROFL..

==

i asked my mum whether she loves me or not? she answered me so big liao,still need sayang meh? then started to say she breastfed all of us,buy us stuff....etc. is it so difficult to say YES? swt~

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.. thou im 20 dy,i still want ah mi to sayang me!!!!!

I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP!!!!!

幸福是什么东东？

传说中，幸福仙子不小心把幸福水晶球弄丢了在世上。幸福水晶球掉在凡间，碎成碎片，撒落在世界的各个角落......

于是，有人捡的多，有人捡的少。

但是，就是没有人可以拥有全部。

幸福可以因分享而凝聚，也可以因分裂而破碎。

放下你手上的水晶碎片，与人分享你的幸福吧！

你会发现，愿意放下不止让碎片不割伤自己，也可以拼凑出

更大更大的幸福。

如果世上每个人都愿意付出自己的幸福，那总有一天，幸福就会是完整的。

long time ago, a happiness fairy dropped her happiness crystal ball on the earth. happiness crystal ball scattered to the ground, broke into pieces, at the same time, dispersed happiness into every corner of the earth......

thus, some people pick up more, some people pick up less.

however,none can get the whole happiness.

when we share, happiness agglomerate.

when we separate, happiness break into smaller fragments.

let go and share your happiness pieces.

slowly you'd realize, letting go not only prevent yourself from cut,

but also allowing the happiness pieces to be put together, forming a bigger one.

if one day, everyone on the earth can do that.

then happiness is considered complete.

do it now.

do everything TODAY

not tomorrow

because when tomorrow comes, that is TODAY

when tomorrow comes, that is TODAY

so why wait for tomorrow

you should be ready now

do everything TODAY

be grateful and have no regret

when you go to bed.

Let go and Let God.

had an inspiring talk with Connie last night.
something strike/SLAP me.
1. God gives you obstacles to make you stronger. if everything goes smoothly,will you still keep praying? *wonder*

2. you complained somebody messed up your life. what if God take it away? *wonder wonder*

3. stop the blaming game. everyone make mistakes. *wonder wonder wonder*

4. the more you pray,the more you have to sacrifice and suffer. like Abraham,who was asked to give his only son as an offering. same goes to Jesus,no sacrifice,no suffering,no salvation. have faith in God for He knows what's the best for you. *wonder wonder wonder wonder*

5. don't think too much. many things are beyond our control. God wants us to lift them up to Him that He may bless us. *wonder wonder wonder wonder wonder*

God,there are many things i still couldn't understand but i lift it up to You. and i move on. thank You for my family,my friends who have always there to support me. and may You bless them as you have blessed me. Amen.

what a day.

you said i didn't do anything wrong yet you treated me like that.
you said don't revenge,don't treat people back the way you don't like people to treat you. yet you treated me like that.
i think i'd feel better if you said you were taking revenge instead of you did it deliberately.
because for all you know,i felt miserable.
you said you scared not being loved back. let me tell you,thats exactly how i felt for the past two weeks and that feeling sucks.
maybe you had your own reasons.
but if you really wanted to,nothing could stop you.
and those reasons you meant,is it far more important than how i feel?
don't tell me you don't know how i feel.
if i treated you that way,i'm sure you'd kill me.
so i wasn't thinking too much.
i just predicted and the assumption seems so real that it gets back to me.
for all i know,you allowed it to happen.
for now,i really do hope that sorry cures.
because i don't want to hate you.

my heart rejoice in God

Nissan Latio,iphone 4... can touch but not mine. tsk tsk tsk

when you're kind,people take you for granted,even dog also bully you. tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk..

btw,like the song i sang in church today. 为他修路。nothing is more important than God's love. when i do thing,i do for God..and He will bless me. =))

b.o.r.e.d.o.m.

i hate it when someone asked you out and fly you aeroplane.
i hate it when someone taught you something that they can't even do it and expect you to do.
i hate it when i treat people the way i want people to treat me yet people don't.
i hate people being cold and distant.
i hate people torturing me.
i hate people make me feel bad.
i hate people being sarcastic.
i hate SATIRE!!!
why they treat me like that?

apa hal i care so much?

what did i do wrong wor?
*draw circle on the floor*

bored die at home.. Zzz

RAWR!!!

HAHAAHAHA!!!

will you?

miss my childhood time.

anger makes you old.

oh dear,subsequently three things pissed me off last night.
first my dog.
second my sister.
third my dad.

zzz! when was the last time i got angry? long ago...

phew~ dealwithit,dealwithit.

alone?

$$$

hahaha! i'm shouldering heavy debt. in deep deep trouble. luckily i only owe my mum and sister. da jie's one settled dy. mum... errrr,BIG amount. guess only next year then can clear the debt. hahahahaha.. pls God,let me earn some pocket money! hehehe..

Gosh,i spent alot last semester. hmmmmmmmmmm... someone offered me a job last week. good pay but i rejected. don't feel like doing it anymore. don't really wanna restrict myself during holiday. so,thought of doing my business. but where's my customer le? hahhaa.. do something Esther Song. money won't fall from the sky. wakakakkakakaka.. i guess i never take it seriously huh?

like what yan yan said,money earned cent by cent.

for me,i strongly agree that you know how to earn money not important. what matter is how you spend them wisely.

anyway,saving a fixed amount monthly for that thing and traveling cost next year. and i've successfully saved enough money to pay my insurance next year. great! LOLx

God will make a way. Don't worry.

i'm loving it

i'm living...
Kuching kinda lifestyle

again.

like a video tape.

on my bed
music on
bring back memories
recall back the time i worked
adorable,a lil bit chubby
yet evil kids
dumbbell,fitball,treadmill
endless telemarketing
did all sort of part time jobs
tried to get involved in business
felt good earning my first 1k,2k..
farewell after farewell
step on a plane
off to a strange place
the day i entered usm
is like incident happened yesterday
siswa lestari,pimpin siswa
mooncake festival,borneo night
outing,rosary,choir practice
CAs,final,packing
so many first times in kelantan
consider a fruitful year

just realized.. i've been thru alot in this 2010
it's time to take a break.