Stupid mossie!

Being attacked by mosquitoes the whole night!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..
So cold,not all mosquitoes hibernate kah?

Do mosquitoes hibernate? -.-a

我不玩了。。

是的，你可以要求自己
不可要求别人
在越在乎人的面，你越显没有价值
寂寞是你关心的人不关心你
我放开手，会好过些吧

这情绪的起伏是阻碍我前进的石头
挪动它就可以为未来铺路。。
加油！
:)

我很寂寞啊！！！！！！

还是希望有人陪的
说说笑笑，压力也会少一点

想念中学时
在你家读书的时候
累了就躺躺沙发
吃个方便面

也想念2nd year时
在她房间的时候
不懂就问
打打闹闹的
时间就很快过了

Sound like a parasite

Go home de go home
Go vacation de go vacation
I'm stuck here waiting for people to cook for me
There is nothing I can do
There is nothing better I can do
:(

Rainy

I don't really like rainy season
because it causes all the pain
Joint pain I mean
Sound like an old lady complaining bout
how the weather brings hong sip~

Anyway,it is winter solstice today
nothing happened.. so not the end of the world yet
Yeah,great
Final in like a week time
oh boy!

~.~
Happy Dong Zhi!!!
Remember to call your parents!
<3 p="p">

Midnight oil

Have been staying up recently
outcome : sore throat and headache
PS : who on earth will do fire drill at 2.30am,this University is seriously speechless la...

太在乎

当你把别人当成自己来看待

因为太在乎

当别人否定了在你心目中的自己人

因为太在乎

当你觉得太在乎太伤人时

我会庆幸

幸好还有太在乎的挽留

萍水相逢

想认识个陌生人，不了解也没关系，
默默地听完我的苦水，然后默默地走开
不解释，不安慰，不批评，不再见。。。

痛苦过，再狠狠得给自己站起来。。。
加油！

So strong can die,man.

Yes,
the only thing I do in my room is
Sleep and Online
Yes,
I'm useless that way
So what?

Crush

This feeling that I can't explain
But I know this crush is going no where...

I look good.

Ng Poh Juan trimmed my eyebrows!
Love 'em! AHAHAHAHA
Thank you,dear Ex~~
<3 p="p">

MEMO

Kind reminder:
Don't too rely on other people!
BE INDEPENDENT!!!!

我的衣服~~

心，难免会受伤
心，可以很坚强

旧的不去，新的不来
节哀顺变吧
T.T

更多的是感动

被球K了两次脸，
手指肿了，
玉手毁了，
自信没了

但
回来时有碗热热腾腾的面等着。。
心疼又不停的责怪语气
更多的是温暖与感动
谢谢你，我的好朋友

Continuous Assessment

The whole world was having exam.
The whole world was saying that they don't know how to answer the question.
Then who can answer the question?
The lecturers who do not belong to the whole world.
HAHAHAHAHAHA

Jia you

I won't give up
I WON'T GIVE UP!
Lord,help me not to give up
At least once
Stand by yourself
Do Not Give Up
Please...

Take away all the low esteem
Restore me with fullness of faith
Be still and know that You're in control

多的是我不知道的事

胡思乱想
又把自己搞累了
想在人群中找点存在感
才发现存在感是“被需要”的感觉
为什么心里老悲观得想着人家在利用我
为什么就不能善待自己一点
感觉啊感觉
你为什么要这么折腾我？

Volleyball = pain

No pain,no gain
I won't give up!

2012年最难过的一天

天啊~
唉！

没什么快不快乐

原本想整理下抽屉
翻开的却是永无止境的回忆
那些美好的，不好的
都显得不是那么好受

心，对不起
又让你难过了

是你爱翻旧帐
还是我多愁善感

看来得缓缓一阵子
低调沉淀思绪

一段时间
不抱怨不炫耀
不说话不快乐
不约束不寂寞

I'm ANGRY!

I have to reflect
What have I done?
that you treated me this way.
This is seriously wrong.
I have limitation also
This is beyond my limitation!!!!!!!
URGHHHHHHHHHHHH

累

现在的我
好懦弱哦

手掌上的鱼

有个小孩在海边捞起一条条因退潮而搁浅的小鱼，
再把它们一条条扔回海里。
有个老人经过，就好奇停下来，
对小孩说：你在做什么？
小孩答：在做好事呢
老人摇摇头，对孩子说：这对大海有什么影响吗？对世界有什么影响吗？
小孩笑了，捧着小鱼说：对大海没影响，世界也不会改变什么。。 但对它绝对是有的。
你今天把爱带给了世界的小鱼了吗？

勇气它原来这里开始

失败时眺望远方
天很蓝
世界很大
还是有很多人失败

哈哈哈哈

I want to play with you

When I miss you,

I keep studying,

I keep myself busy,

I try not to think of you

because I know,January then I can see you

I miss you,my home.

Dear-s

Dear hair,dear baby camera,dear little white
Hope all of you stay healthy and pretty. :D
Love Esther

Thought

I certainly don't like to think

When thought strikes my head,

I will straight away head to bed.

HAHAHAHA..

One way to avoid all the complications I guess.

Today,ethics talked about RESPONSIBILITY

and Prof was saying higher educated person has higher responsibility

up to certain point,I agreed with that.

However,responsibility is often how people judge you

I might think up to that extend is my responsibility

while others will think that is not enough

See,I guess everyone has their own lives to lead

Ones only have to be responsible for themselves.

Good enough.

something to ponder....maybe in my dream

HAHAHAHAA!!!

Feeling is not wrong,your reaction toward it might be

I miss my sisters alot.
I certainly need someone who treat me differently.
Yes,reason why I said this is because
I realized that I think too much
Ya,time to let go. :)

A good song for breakfast

Youtube is super fast now!
Hehehe... Good morning. :D

又是那格格不入的感觉！

Am I homesick ah?

Yesterday my roommate asked me
"Kenapa kamu nampak sedih jeh? Rindu kat rumah kah?"
Nearly cried out loud lo
Well,I was too tired I guess
Moment like this...

Feeling,I don't know how you feel?
So I decided not to think of you!

第一天，每一天

开学第一天
我真的觉得接下来的每一天
都会这么闷呃
第二堂课就很爱睡了
唉~
加油吧，宋慧珊！

我肚子很痛，你知道吗？
唉，我知道你不知道。。。
哈哈哈。。。我疯了

放假.放空

对着天花板发呆...
世界突然变得好安静哦

Fat Fighto

Well,remember this creature I created month ago?
Hmmmm.. I think I still have long way to go..
Run devil devil run run!

Chicken soup,good for the tummy!

Although you made me miss home more,
I'm thankful that I know you.
I guess my stomach gets all the benefit.
HAAHHAHAA

I shall study now,right?
><

Am I the only one who smell that?

She smells like urine.
It is like I'm sitting beside an old woman with urinary incontinence
Exactly like what I smell early in the morning when I entered Gynecology ward
Imagine the smell
If you can't,
imagine a toilet that cannot be flushed
and everyone is peeing on it
It stinks like ammonia!!!
One more week,let me go home

I'm not going to tell her,she has problem.
I'm sure she knows and just ignored it.

so many 4-s

So this is weird.
I woke up from a nap after a nightmare at 4pm
Grab a snack and I logged in my fb
4 friend requests,4 messages,and 44 notifications
I looked at the time,4.44pm.

What does that indicate?
You know,chinese doesn't like 4 right?
*superstitious*

How nice if my result is 4.0.
:P

Anybody into cats?

4 left

Four down,four more to go
Why does it seem like forever?
So tired dy...
Did bad in pharmacology
I know,what is past is past
I just can't seem to get over it yet
Still very down after yesterday paper
keep thinking about the silly mistake I made
sigh... the more you dwell in your misfortune,the more unfortunate you are
I have to move on,
Ya,I have to move on

Vanity

I know I'm awesome,I'm just waiting for everyone else to realize it.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

脑的话语

"吃点亏有什么关系，别占人的便宜就好了。"

脑海里总浮现这一行字耶

Music = dopamine

BBC Radio 1 is so nice!
That English accent,
It makes me think of d the English class I attended
I think my study mood is lost somewhere

First paper

Microbiology was insanely difficult...
It is ok.
Through challenge,I grow stronger!

There is difference between study and don't know how to do
and don't study and don't know how to do.
Apparently,you don't feel that guilty when you prepared for exam
Ok,I know I normally didn't study for exam.
From now onward,I'll try to study for exam.
This is the least a student should do.

Lord,help me
I put my trust in You,Amen!

早上一颗巧克力

我说
人生就像颗抹茶巧克力
第一口茶香苦涩
慢慢化开是巧克力的甜蜜
享受享受着
核心是茶香与巧克力的和平相处
最后发现回甘的
还是因先前的苦涩

经历痛苦，谁都不愿意
但，没有了它
老来还有什么好回味呢？
默然发现
幸福与痛苦是系在一起的

Unexpected sms

An unexpected sms from you
put a smile in a long tiring day

:)

Maybe

One day,
I'm gonna meet you
talk to you
tease you
text you all day long
fall in love with you
go traveling with you
share peppermint ice-cream
listen to our favorite song and sing out loud in the car
blow bubbles along seaside
watch sunset with our dogs
take lotsa pictures
hold your hand
cuddle you
Saying "I do" in front of our parents,relatives and friends
in the church.

Psalm 103:13

I love you as deeply as a father loves his children.

Thank You, Lord for loving me.

I'm a crayon

Everyone you encounter is a crayon
he/she might not be your favorite colour
but one day you gonna need em to complete your picture.

No matter what colour you are

you definitely make someone life colourful

Good and better

True fact
I need to keep reminding myself that
I'm not competing with anyone
I can't drift apart from my God's will
I shouldn't fight for any world fame
My goal is to glorify Him
But why did I actually feel sad and disappointed
when I received my respiratory OSCE result
I still care that people knows about my result
Again,another reiminder
no matter how good you are,there's always a million people better
You get what you deserve
It is ok to be disappointed and that disappointment shouldn't be wasted
transform it to positive energy to keep you motivated and moving
The only enemy is YOURSELF!
I should at least ONCE,score good for myself,right?

Reason why you should jog

Jogging can suppress binge eating!

Cheers!

They are always there to remind,to care,to tease,to understand

This morning,suddenly realized that
It feels so good to have friends around. :)
Thank You,Lord.

Yes,not everyone is gonna hurt you...

Close to heaven

Chest pain that I couldn't explain
At that moment,I really thought that I'm gonna die
Cold sweat and every single breath hurts
Can't straighten my back...

But after half an hour,
I'm totally fine
as if nothing happened
I still go makan with my roomate
This is WEIRD!!

Anyway,hope it won't happen next time
horrible experience

Starving

Saturday,weekend,public holiday
and I'm filling myself with biscuits
Sadnye~~~
NURANI,Y U NO OPEN???

FREEDOM

Morning Jog,Cold Shower,Soy Milk Oat as breakfast!
I'm free as a bird!
I love study week!

两天没跑步
浑身不自在的
下雨天，我的心也灰灰滴

Miss home again

I miss mummy,I miss daddy,I miss dajie,I miss erjie,I miss big fat sheep(the most!!!) and my ah dai~
I WANT TO GO HOME la!!!!! T.T

Only if you know

The people who really care won't hurt you, but if they do, you'll see it in their eyes, for they'll be hurting too.

Problem sneak in when we don't look into each others eyes, talk and listen.

I miss you again

Spring cleaning!

Very tired lo...

Now,I understand why mummy always say

don't accumulate things...

my laundry,my notes,my messy table

OMG,I'm so the very tired now.

Lotsa things to take care

and it makes me miss home so much

I'll struggle hard till I see you again,Kuching.

I miss you.

:)

Go go go!

When you learn to accept it

When you learn to control it

When you're not afraid of losing it

It is the time,you're free from it

Pleasure old life,

I'm letting you go slowly

Focus

Your target is 3.67 and lose 5kg.

FOCUS!

为信仰加油！

100个人念玫瑰经，我念！
2个人念玫瑰经，我也念！
1个人念玫瑰经，我也要坚持念下去！
我不愿看见你的旨意没人承行，所以我要坚持！
主的孩子不寂寞，要坚持！

Don't call

Why you only call when you need me?
Don't you know it hurts?
It does...

Am I that "important" to you that you only remember me when you need me? Are you a true friend? Coz if you aren't,please leave me alone. I'll adjust myself and I'll be fine in a while. Don't disturb me if you only mean to get something from me.

Long time no see

medal

B-

A

Work harder work harder

ESTHER SONG!!!!

Speechless

YYY : XXX,can you pls be the first reader bcoz we duwan to disturb the choir(FIRM and STRONG reason because you see,we only have 4 or 5 people left for choir,still we need to take them as readers,psalmist and commentator? you kidding,man!)

XXX : I'll only do it if really there's really no one to do it and that I get to know the reading beforehand.

First,DUH,what a stupid statement! If we can find someone,why do we even ask you? Don't you think it is your responsibility to serve God? You see it as what? people do that for themselves? people begging you?

Second,HOW SELFISH can a person be? OMG,I seriously... what do you mean REALLY no one to do it? you mean the whole church no people come then you will do it la? Come on la,everything fall from the sky kah? You think God can't find other people to do it kah? He is giving you a chance to serve! Time to give!!!! don't just take take take and take!!!! Appreciate it!!! It won't take you much time and energy and cost you a thousand pun...  OMG! if church got makan,I see you guys are the first one to sit there and eat!

Oh God,I seriously speechless la

I'm here feeling dilemma whether to leave for TOT or not

and keep praying,asking God what to do?

and yet people can still be so carefree...

I'm not comparing myself to them.

If I were to,long have I left the church...

And if you're not committed to church,to God

KEEP YOUR BIG MOUTH SHUT AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO CRITICIZE US!

STOP GIVING US COLD SHOULDER IF YOU WEREN'T HELPING

WHAT WRONG WITH PEOPLE NOWADAYS?

Oh God, forgive me for saying it out here

because I got no place to express this

and please give me the strength to forgive and pray for them.

And I thank You,Lord for those who are willing to help out

Give us strength so that we may continue to relay on You

for Your Love never fails.

Give us Holy Spirit,the Helper You've promised.

撑下去

不要为明天忧虑
因明天自有明天的忧虑
一天的苦足够一天受了

我真的想都不敢想咯
只能仰赖主
一步步走下去
自己选择的路
跪着也要走完

加油，加油，加油！

独立

了解我的人，不必解释
不了解我的人，何必解释

终结，有些故事不必说给每个人听
反正没有人愿意懂
大家都各忙各的
烦恼自己的
照顾好自己就好了

God will provide

There is absolutely so many things to be taken care
Money,homework,house chores,training,exam,OSCE,OSPE
and the list goes on...

Yesterday,I was google-ing
I typed "I love you",then click on image
Many many pictures came out
but none can picture me the real meaning of LOVE
then nothing happened,life goes on...

Last night,I went to my friend's room
booked cheap AA ticket
HAHAHAHAHA!
then sleepover at her place

This morning,I came back to my room at 7am
Felt so tired and discouraged
It is like life is so tedious
to be exact
"I'm so lack of what you called LIFE Purpose"
So I opened my bible
after this while
the first line I read was
"I love you just as the Father loves me"
...remain in my love

This verse is so amazing and powerful...
it was indescribable

Check out John 15:9-17
Today's reading
and endure in God's love
so strong and fulfilling...

God bless

妈~~~

想多么简单就多么简单
是妈妈告诉我的真理
脑袋都是你，心里都是你

想打电话，不过你应该睡了吧
我想念妈妈
我在这里忙惨了
我在这里很辛苦啊~~~
你知道吗？

:( busy

Things on list

booklets 150 copies,tonight have to go murni again
ccn speech,have to finish tonight also
tomorrow microbiology quiz
tomorrow pbl
tues: posting OT,need to do homework
wed:-pharmacology CA
tonnes of dirty clothes,most probably thurs then can wash
thurs night if nothing happen,head to Penang for TOT
OMG,weekend gone
next week,another crazy week!
I never really feel free nowadays...
Sigh...

Never enough

WAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA...
FUN!
One day... the day will come!
LOLLLLLL

little camera-s

Thing happened

TMD printer...

运动

原来出一身汗比大吃大喝还来得痛快！

一个字

爽~！！

Accuse and suspect

It is so tiring that I have to explain and explain all over again
and you won't listen

I don't like much explanation
In fact there isn't much needed
just tell me you trust me
and show me that little respect I deserved.

Well,
sometimes when I cannot find someone to talk
I'll let my bed cuddle and comfort me
:)

我很累了

很不舒服
这里痛那里痛的说
唉，将就点吧

Stop feeding

What am I doing?
Have been eating like a pig
Gosh,must control myself
MUST!
I don't want to be fat!!!
NO WAY

My confession

I admit that for a second,
your number do flash thru my mind
I admit that for a moment,
your name do flash thru my mind
I admit that for this while
I've been thinking about you

Mother's Day

Mother's Day without mother around...

Wawawa~~~ T.T

I want my mummy!

压力中

人生就像在大便
有时候，你很努力了
出来的只是个屁

设计
我不配
也没有天分
更加没有耐心

做了一个下午
最后功亏一篑

你杀了我吧
烦死了！！！！

*inhale*

You have no idea how much it hurts inside...

Jiayou!

AMEN!

Can I not be strong?

You can't always change people
you can either accept them or live without them
Most of the time,I do both.

I choose to accept that everyone is different
and then I leave them.
That's why I end up alone.
Oh well,serve me right then.

:)

Bring it on

No pain no gain
The game is on.

:]

WTH

What?
Just when I said I shall have a sweet dream
Accidentally open a ghost movie named
"Jennifer's Body"
And freak myself out of it
Damn
Just hope that I won't have nightmare tonight

=\

Love never fails

I like hello, better

Listen with your heart, you will understand

Sometimes the right path is not always the easiest

I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you.

No matter what happened to me, I'll always be with you, forever.

Look, I'm not the romantic type kinda person

But Pocahontas is seriously so romantic and sweet!

No white horse,no castle,no fairy tale

only two hearts that want to be together

Courage and love

With the quiet rain, I shall have a sweet dream.

:)

Faithfulness

Talking about faith
How do you define faith?

Faith is when I pray,I don't doubt God,

I have full confidence in Him

A story to share...
A guy said I pray for not raining dy
It won't rain....
Where in fact the sky was so dark
with the wind blowing so strong
Logically it will rain

I said "it will surely rain. Oh God,thought I've prayed for a good day? Guess Your answer is a NO huh?"
I was talking to myself,
then this guy saying
"you've already prayed,why do you doubt God? Why you so not faithful one? It won't rain"
I just smiled and walked away.
Then it rained,the guy ran like hell to find a shelter
I looked at him and said
"Faith is not praying and get what you want. You can't control the sky neither you can control God. I have faith in God simply means even if it rains,I know God means me no harm."

:)

Prayer is not your remote control!
Stop using it to test God
and say give thanks or glory to God
when your will is fulfilled
Even if Jesus Christ asked for God's will to be done
when He knew that He is going to die on the cross
Your love toward God should be pure
like children love
Obedience and call yourself FAITHFUL
Now,ask yourself
Do you still believe in Him during difficult time?

Lord,during my difficult time
teach me to say
thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven
Amen.

Friendster

Had a wonderful night with dear coursemates
Someone who is always there to support,nag and remind
Well,call myself lucky to have them
Chicken chop and shopping... <3

It has been a tough week
Don't have much time to rest even though holiday
Didn't even touch my notes
Sigh... don't stress don't stress
I promise I'll study tomorrow
You know,I don't cheat
:) jiayou!

Ending marks the new season

Vampire Diaries season 4 please!

Hehe..

=.=a

I LOVE YOU

Dad called this afternoon.
After so long...
Two weeks I didn't hear from him.
Before he hung up,I was trying to say
“I love you,daddy"
but stuck on my throat
only "emm emm emm" came out...
then he hung up when things get awkward
like usual...
and I continue with my work...

Just now...
HAHAHAHAHAHA...
Funny when he answered "O"
That is so my style!!!
Oh well,inherited...
:D
and we said the same thing..
see the "haven't slept"?
Awwww
suddenly miss home so much
:))
I wanna hug my papa bear soooooooooooooooooooooo much!

To you

Outside my window

I was reading your news

then,wind blew

I wanted to close the window

and I saw this

Took out my camera and snapped

rushed to downstairs

and witnessed it disappeared

It just disappeared

no matter how reluctant we are

same goes to life

within seconds,you're gone like forever

although I don't know you

when I read your news

I feel pain

you're still so young

must have many dreams haven't achieved

must have many words haven't said

must have many things...haven't done

may you rest in peace.

dedicated to you,someone who loves photography

Patricia Yiu.

Fine.

How come I still feel like....

being used by other people

comfort me,Lord.

=\

Trust Him,He will provide

Speak wisely

Make sure the thing that you say is more meaningful than your silence

你必须确保你说的事情比你的沉默还来得有价值

It is growing...

Dear hair on top of my head,
Hope you get better and better.
Amen.
Love,Esther.

:D

pleasure

barley peng on a hot sunny day

70.4kg

Phew~

Finally shake off the 2kg gained

during that one week holiday

It takes 2 weeks to lose 

the weight gained in 1 week

I know,it is unfair

but anyway,I'm gonna work extra hard

for my -5kg by 2013!

FIGHTING!

bed is my comfort

I said : "aiyo,why stress didn't find me?
like that you call friends meh?"
Cheh,as if I'd look for friends when I'm stressed
as if they understand
as if they can make me feel better
same goes to others
in this world,most of the time,
we're on our own
no one can truly understand how you feel
most importantly
THEY CAN'T MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER
you'd have to figure it out yourself
because in the end,
you're on your own
This is not sarcastic or being hopeless
but honestly,you have to pick up yourself
forgive and move on
no one can help you
no one can motivate you
unless you put in effort to try it yourself first!
Once you think that you're mature,
actually there is nothing much left to say
those can digest,digest la
those can forgive,forgive la
those can ignore,ignore la
those can avoid,avoid la
none of above works? Leave la
why hurt yourself and others wor?

Don't care too much
once it is too much,you lose everything
beyond everything
crush you,creep you deep inside
and it takes long time to heal and to believe again
prevent,avoid,I always try to slow down and look
it comes naturally
I don't even have to think about it
I refuse and won't love like how I loved last time
I don't live there anymore
I protect myself and will always try to love myself more

I think
I can't,won't and I don't deserve to
maybe one day,someone special will appear
and show me
I can,I would and I deserved
:)

for now,brush teeth and go to sleep
MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

This place makes me old

天儿呀
见鬼了
我的眼袋
接受不到咯！！！！

/==\

忧郁中

pek chek

过着每天被人催功课，

照片，设计的日子

不知几时才可以解脱

我可以不要再逃避吗？

很烦啊！！！！

我要做时，往往是不顺利的

死鬼report，为什么你要这样对我？！？

你就不能体谅我下了多大的决心

才决定碰你吗？

peace

我是无知的和平主义者
不哭不闹不炫耀
对于黄色事件
还是持于平静的态度
政府，你可要为人民着想
别伤还无辜
平平静静，和和谐谐地和他们商量吧
人民，适可而止吧
大家尽好自己本分就好
重点是和平！
为和平祈祷~阿门

Music

Sometimes when I miss you,
I put those records on.

:)

Don't give up,SHS!

Pick it up and never say never

Morning sickness

Morning time is the most vulnerable and sensitive time

dahlah xda mood minggu ni

People have to come and irritate me

at that very moment.

I tried to control but my face betrayed me

Sigh

Friends forgive.

I have to FORGIVE!

Was thinking...

So,is it my problem that I'm angry?

FAT

I thank God,I have friends last time.
:P
I want to be slim and pretty so bad!!!
Still struggling...

中学朋友为何如此长久，
也许是因为她们陪我度过了人生最丑，最胖
最无知，最单纯，最吵死人，最简单
也最快乐的时光
我回不去了，只能往前一直走，一直走

我不配
:(

隔壁桌的她

读书狂？
三句离不开
“我要读书”
“我在读书”
“我要做功课”
“我在作功课”

也许，我永远都到不了那境界

Be healthy

Please don't fall sick.
Please don't
Just don't....
PLEASE~~~

:)

Migraine

Can someone please stop the pain?

/==\

Discomfort

Gahhhhhhhh..
HEADACHE!
:(

Besut

A day off...

back to school,6th day

I forgive but never forget.

Just kidding,I'll forget anyway...

XP

Tomorrow please RAIN!

in Jesus name I pray.Amen.

:P

back to school,5th day

WOW,what a big change to blogspot!! NICE!
:D
I'm so tired today...
Probably because weekend is here.
Tee hee...
And LOTSA works waiting for me next week
I mean ALOT!
Oh well,
let's see what can I do..

back to school,4th day

Officially broke!

No money,how to live?

I think I need to save money dy...

Hmmm... next semester will be better.

Just some funny discovery,

I like new thing

new hair,

new knowledge,

new lecturer,

new friend,

new thing,

new gadget,

Whatever is new to me catch my attention

Maybe because I get bored very easily

Old is better or new?

What do you think?

I'd think whatever that is not mine,is new and good.

HAHAHAHA!

Abdominal discomfort for several days dy.

Period,why you hurt me?

I don't think I'm stress but my head ache horribly

Heat,why you hurt me?

Sudden thought,

Am I very lousy?

Headache+menstrual pain+think too much = sleep

Sleep it thru,sleep it away...

sleep....

back to school,3rd day

First thing I felt in labor room is COLD

don't know is it the aircond or the scream of pain

4 babies,I witnessed

SO THE VERY CUTE LORRR!

But the screaming part really made me brrrrrrrr

goosebumps

And I kinda agree with adoption now.

HAHAHAHAHA!

:P

Seeing the delivery makes me feel so proud of my ah bu

Mum is so noble!!!!

Ah Bu,don't worry

I'll protect you!

I miss my mum

PCOS

Hmmmmmmmmm

PCOS

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

PCOS

hair loss,irregular period,facial hair

My weakness and low esteem source last time

my sister tried to explain to me last time

But I didn't pay much attention

Studying about it now

need to be careful

you know,being asked

why you have mustache?

why you look like a guy?

bla bla bla

at the age of 17 or 18

Yeah,I used to hate myself.

and cried in toilet.

:b

Back to school,2nd day

Today as usual 8am-10am class

the rest semua class canceled.

Oh well,"unfortunately"

We have to stay because class replacement

I think 30-40 years old or above UNMARRIED lecturer/s(female)

seriously more fierce and unreasonable

Freaky freaky...

Somemore, unmarried nurses are weird...

Oh no,if I decided not to marry in future,

would I be like them?

OHNOOOOO~~~

Today,early in the morning,

I was blur blur,semi conscious(just wake up mah)

took my newly bought toothpaste(in a box)

suddenly,the toothpaste dropped out from the box

the sharp sharp end hit my foot and ta da!

Bleeding and now bruise...

only people like me will injured in this "creative" way

Urgh,pardon me...

==

although just a small hole,

Cacat dy,every move I make,

I feel pain...

><|||

Now,in the library,

after some time...

Phew,night study in cold air...

*LIKE*

Clinical posting...

Labor room tomorrow...

Hmmmmm

Witness opening vagina,newborn,suffering mother

pain and love?

Life is amazing...

小小潜水家

别人多富有，漂亮，有地位

都与你无关

交朋友要看对方愿意拿多少

与你分享

那是交友的基本

也是待人处事的诚意

朋友是真心想对你好的人

谢谢你，我的朋友

你，应该是有看我的部落格的吧

嘻嘻

Back to school,first day.

I can't judge you.

But I pray that you'd be able to

wake up next time for church.

:)

Still,3 questions

Can you do the job?(ability)

Will you do the job(willingness)

Can you cooperate with others?(team work)

-quoted Dr Lim-

I can study

I will study

and my friends help me.

I can do it!

I go to church not because I'm holy

I love God so much or whatsoever nonsense

But because God loves me.

So,Thank You,Lord for loving me.

Today gospel

Blessed are those who didn't see Me but believe.

Make me the blessed one,Lord.

I believe.

Be patient

When you started to work,

you feel like everything is against you.

Your tools and machine like pen, stapler,printer,broadband,computer etc etc

JUST FREAKING NOT COOPERATIVE!

I'm sweating like hell now.

Gosh...

Anyway,be patient.

They need some time,

just as I do.

==

Sometimes,love just ain't enough

世上不爱的理由有很多：忙、累、为你好....等等，而爱的表现只有一个：

就想和你在一起

Back

Back.

It seems like everything starts from zero.

No notes,no exam(thank God),no assignment,no feeling...

But I know,they are coming

and I start to feel scared.

I've left my pendrive back in Kuching.

How could I??

All my documents are inside.

GOSH..

I'm so terrible.

Cannot,I must save myself.

MUST!!!

I MUST BE STRONG!!

Bye,my love

When I lost something

Don't think about it

and I won't feel pain

I admit I'm careless.

And I never stop paying for my carelessness.

Sushi Bonanza

Good thing about being home is that...
You can eat whatever you want
and laugh whatever you like
Stomachache because laugh too hard or eat too much?
#Great supper!

我的心，碎了

都救不到料，拍张照留念吧

我还有两年半的贷款没有还清叻

*心痛*

Everybody is a genius.

But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,

it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

Bee-sy

At first,I thought of finishing assignment quickly,so that can go happy hour with my friends. In the end,all busy with assignment. I thought I'm the only one who haven't finished my homework. I thought I'm always the one last minute? == Others are busier than me now. This is weird...

Do you miss me?

Miss my stupid dai at home

I can't go but you don't want to go

If your heart is there,your orang will be there.

How funny that people will try to get a car,no matter what

to go makan

But if go to church,

assignment la,

study la,

no car la,

all sort of excuses

Well,I can always accept "don't feel like going"

because some people just don't like it

Why be the bad guy and force them?

I can only say...

some people go to church based on obligation

which is kinda sad

But they are they,I can't change people

as long as they are happy...

I used to be very kepoh and keep asking people to go to church

now,friends,I can only pray for you

Assignments pile up!

URGH...

and that stupid gastritis!

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

T.T

Heart vs Mind

Honestly, I'm not sure if I should keep holding on or let go. It is stupid to hold on to something that keeps hurting you, but it is also stupid to let go of everything you've ever wanted.

I don't leave when I feel hurt. I leave when I've been hurt ENOUGH. My heart hurts because it is kind and soft. But when my brain defeat my heart, nothing can change my mind. I'm cruel this way. Maybe my ego works that way. :)

I'm done with you.

快点读书，作功课！

我们来玩一个游戏

没读书的就是猪！

哈哈

为什么你下雨？

我想去图书馆叻

又下雨又暗又一个人

唉，还是算了。。。

不活在过去

我一直以为是我的问题

直到今天朋友点醒了我

没有人可以是一辈子的好朋友

让我领悟到

你喜不喜欢我，

真的不在我控制范围内，

所以我决定了，

不再为你伤无谓的心

坚持着落空的承诺

还有感谢那地域上的距离

减少了摩擦

增加了思念

献给分隔世界各地的姐妹们

想念你们了

Emotion

:Have you recovered from post-ccn-syndrome?
:I never had that. In fact, I'm so glad that it is over now.

:Have you regretted for taking up this post?

:Erm... Not really. Since I take it already,it is my responsibility to complete it.

:Must be very stress. Your photos all no smile one,look very fierce.

:Oh well,I'm always like that. What to say when I'm stress. ^^|||

:Smile more.

:Hmmmmmmm... I'll try...

Well,I think one of my weakness is I don't smile. Or I don't know how to smile or... don't know. Some people also don't smile ah,why no people say they are aloof,proud or fierce leh? My look,perhaps. Sometimes,I'm just being tired/hungry. Like just now,I didn't smile because I was starving!! And maybe I just came out from exam hall... Isn't it weird when you need to explain to people why you smile,why you don't. It seems like everything I do is abnormal to people. I laugh,people commented I hyper. I keep quiet,people commented I emo. I should accept the fact that whatever I do,people comment. It happens to everybody,right? Ah,malas la wannna explain this explain that...

Actually I feel like eating McD, rommie oh rommie faster come back!

美丽的旅程

22年来最疯狂的事

担起了CCN主席这个位

也开始了坎坷又美丽的旅程

感谢主，给我这个机会

带来了烦恼，也带来了成就感

这2nd year总算没有白过了

只希望自己可以成长，成熟一点

不断的进步，不断的努力，不断的加油

现在只想告诉爸爸妈妈

你们的女儿很了不起

This is "what's wrong with me" recently

It seems like my life doesn't have much happy things to talk about. Today was a long day. Exhausted. Facilitator scolded and nagged like usual. Was it because of us or they are like that? Physically tired,mentally tired,emotionally ill...

There is certain point that I wish I can draw a border line with this world. To shut myself out of this place. No kidding..

Well,sorry for being emo in my blog again. There is no other way else for me to express all this negative emotion. If only someone understand and care... But I supposed none huh? God cares but how can I feel it? How?

Just because I WAS the president,people command me to do this do that? Ok,remind me to do this do that... If you wanna that thing to happen,ask the committees yourself la. Stop giving me that "you're the president mah" face. Lame excuse. You think very easy to communicate with our committees ah? We're all equal. I don't have more power than you. I don't treat you as my slave or workers. Why you want me to command others? Anything just bring it out on the committees and discuss. Not everything need to go thru me!

Responsibility... Why?

I'm always left out. In church,in class,in CCN,in anything... I tried to be nice to people,and they take me for granted. Here is the place where people judge you,people grade you...

The one who care is the one who doesn't understand. I don't like to explain. The one who understand is the one who doesn't care. I don't like to force. End up...forever alone in USMKK.

Can it be someone who just sit beside me,accompany me and keep quiet? Someone who can tolerate this "demand",perhaps?

I just missed home so much.

Bossy

Don't command me what to do,I don't need those crap!

退步了，演技

为什么你要拆穿我，为什么？？

为什么？？？

对不起让你失望了

我也不好受。。。

只是累了

The myth

No matter how tired and difficult,

I must complete this.

One more week to go!