As the new year zoom in..

I actually took out my notes and started to read. I guess the pouring rain had successfully restricted me from going out and I'm bored. hahaha...

Bought a pair of lovely shoes. Sport shoes I mean. It's like a dream comes true. LOLx. Extremely excited. If I have money,I wish to buy all the shoes displayed in the store. They are just plain beautiful. Too bad,I can't. =P

I wanna be a billionaire,so fricking bad,buy all of the thing I never have~~~

Love shi ling's chicken chop and sweet potato strips. YUM!!

2 more days,CNY!! Fireworks!! Friends!! and Fun~~~~~~~~~

ps I miss you. :)

Good to be home.

Beef noodle for breakfast. Kimchi noodle for lunch. Salad chicken rice for dinner. I'm surely going to put on weight. But then again,I'll be a fool if I don't eat. Here is Kuching neh!!!! MUST MUST MUST eat puas2!!! XD

Bought 4 shirts just now. WOW! love this kind of shopping. lazy to shop for cny clothes dy. so just buy. LOLx Next,I wanna buy a pair of jeans!!! and shorts and shoes and.... Oops!

Again,I think my mum dotes on me. hahaha! I was like which to buy? My mum just said take all. == is that a good thing? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Ya,good for me coz I don't have to decide. muahahahahahhahaha!

today's a happy day.

Wondering

Intentionally or not,I always end up hurting people I care.

When they said she has her own problem,

Studies pressure,family problem and stuff

suddenly I thought of mine.

Out of sudden,I was stimulated to think.

That's why I go a lil bit quiet.

Silence means How deep I hurt

Silence means How hard I've tried to get rid of it

Silence means How I struggle to ignore

I bet that's the best way to avoid hurting people I love.

I speak nonsense when I'm hurt.

Everyone is my foe when I'm hurt.

Nobody is my friend when I'm hurt.

Hide myself when I'm hurt.

When you've found me,pretend you don't

leave me alone,for I'm hurt.

Honestly,I'm kinda scared to go home.

Scared of the pain and hurt.

Sick of all the screaming and yelling.

Have had enough of all the insomnia.

Just finger crossed that things will be better.

Lord,bless my new bunny year to be a peaceful one.

Amen.

oh my teenage life.

Reading my old blog bring back all the memories. Sweet and sour,bitter and bliss...

I definitely missed the lil handsome boy who hugged me and said I love you.

and my dog was lost,27/5/2007. don't know how many liters of tear i had shed. :') i miss you,Angust. how are you?

thou i can never go back,never forget My Way in multiply.com

:))

I don't want to transfer!

Mum asked me to transfer to Unimas,I go speechless.

No,it is no longer the place but the people that matters.

Friends!

Yes,a decade had passed and I'm dare to say,

I'm still the same.

I'm loyal to my friends.(kononnya)

Place never really bother much,but the people.

I'd stay because of my friends.

I still remember,

I insist of going to the same secondary school with a best friend of mine.

until today,I still think I've made a right decision.

We've known each other for more than 10 years.

and thank God,we're still close to each other.

Well,as if I can change university that easily....

oops,don't tell my mum ya. XP

Killing me.

Oh man,I mixed up all the pathways,enzymes,intermediates,products and disorders!

How am I going to sit for exam tomorrow!? Shoot!!!!!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...

(/_\) sighhh

吸引了我

女人好比梨，外甜内酸。吃梨的人不知道梨的心是酸的，因为吃到最后就把心扔了，所以男人从来不懂女人的心。男人就好比洋葱，想要看到男人的心就需要一层一层去剥！但在剥的过程中你会不断流泪，剥到最后你才知道洋葱是没心的。­

是这样的吗？

慢舞

闭眼忘了呼吸的痛苦，

我们不哭

默默地祝福。

好喜欢这几句歌词哦！

sorry,classmate.

She is so dangerous.

oh girl,what's with the mischief?

Why did you do that?

You're seriously putting yourself into trouble.

Now,I finally fully understand why I'm not close to you since form 1.

I disagree with the way you behave,always.

At certain time,it annoyed and disgusted me.

what a shame.

When one person doesn't like you,maybe it's a misjudgment or prejudice.

But when many people don't like you,you should know where the problem lay.

wish you luck. :)

Thank you

Thank you for helping me

Thank you for breaking my heart

Thank you for tearing me apart

Thou it left a scar

I bet I have a stronger heart.

:)

Friday 21/1/2011

Morning is cold....

and I don't know what to eat for breakfast! ><

Happiness means simple.

bunny from penang! Thank you,Grace! I like it... hehehe..

I still think its head look like a fish. xD

gosh,look at the beautiful sky.... :))

and I've had a great dinner. hehehe..

thanks to my roomie and yen ling.

well,you can always count yourself lucky to have good friends beside you.

when I prayed my rosary just now,

I felt very calm and peace.

indescribable feeling...

it's an extraordinary day.

I'd say...

I can't breath!

Yesterday,I think something goes into my nasopharynx. Rice or whatever. and I coughed too hard. I have sore throat now. and runny nose out of sudden after sneezing for the whole afternoon. Siapa miss me so much oh? With the lightheadedness and rising body temperature,I'm officially sick!!! ==

after lunch,long winded lecture,Dr Yvonne's lecture,I also fell asleep. conclusion : she has lost her charm.

bun hair,uniform,black shoes.

jogging,new basketball court,and 3 points shooting. yay!! I'm good! haha.. syok sendiri..

sometime i wonder you'd still have time to listen to me. thanks for replying anyway. It means alot. :)

down-to-valley-kind-of-mood

Wake up feeling depressed.

Tension,stress,sick.

Can't stop wondering.

What am I doing?

Am I doing the right thing?

Oh well,definitely not a good way to start a day.

Try to pick up myself as soon as possible.

Don't think,don't think.

P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E.

xD

Have a massage maybe....

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (vibration~~~) (==)|||

Recently

I seriously need to study.

CA is so near.

Dead meat.

Alamak!!

The sun represent me.

and I'm shining!!

wheeeeeeeeeeee~

Gonna melt those icy cold faces

and bring light and hope to people.

Have you smile today? :)

I'm currently

in CNY mood!

v(n.n)v

#2 Birthday is all about :

Surprise midnight party!

piggy Lyn,you scared me! ><

birthday songsss

candles == wish i got less.

wishes

laughter

icing fight(a must)

hugs

and..

L.O.V.E

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... I'm so lucky!

ps : forgot to take my phone that night. so,no pictures.

gosh,who hold my sleepy face pictures?

#1 Birthday is all about :

birthday egg
birthday cakes

birthday icing fight.

friends and sharing!!

purchase and purchase $$

Alright,got my printer fixed.

Next : BICYCLE!!!

Love the old antique bicycle!

simply COOL~

sigh,when can i get my DSLR?

no money no talk...

ah mi,you love me or not?

had a dream.

not really a nightmare,

but it bring back memories.

it is exactly what i wish mum would do for me.

and it only materialize in my dream.

how provoking.

ever since i was small

i wished mum could present in my prize giving day

even if it means once.

but never.

i remember my sister got pelajar cemerlang for her form 3

mum was so happy and attended hers.

i was so so so jealous that time,

that i even cried on this little matter.

throughout the years,

i've been trying very hard to score

to get the best result

and hope that mum would be proud of me

and attend my prize giving day.

but the hardest i try

the hardest i fell

sick of it

inferiority comes in that time

very very much

i think up till now

i will still think that i'm useless

shoot,i cried again.

i think she did ask

whether i want her to attend or not.

and i said no?

did i?

all i want is mum sitting down there

smiling at me and clap for me.

as simple as that.

but now,

i don't know whether i still have the chance or.

anyway,

i gonna try my best,

no matter what.

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,but how ah?

==

planning planning...

action action...

suggestion?

i think my parents dote on me

that is what i always believe

and doubt...

=P

i wanna tapao love and care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

imissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyou

I'm back!

Joining decoration gives me a very big satisfaction. Boost of confidence. The feeling all comes back. That's the way. I like it very muchy! worth all the backache and lack of sleep. XD

Sigh.. nightmare just started luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu... pull an all nighter to study after this! go go go!!!!

damn you stupid sustainable run

lost my white card,hatta pay extra 20 bucks. ok,this one i admit it's my fault. Money ah,fly away~~~ T.T

ask us go out,rental cannot claim suak. dunno road,ask us google search also suak. hatta help her promote,whatever benefit also so kiam siap duwan to give,at least tell us how to go mah. tut you!

hatta pay rm15 to participate. oooooooo,got certificate. ok la.. but wait.

what the... only the first 50 participants get the certificate. even certificate also so kiam siap... dunno how to promote like that...

the prize also not so attractive also. thousands? no. saddening

and she said run 10km very short distance only mah,ask those ppl work harder la. kns! you think easy,you go run lo.

sigh... even I have no confidence in this. cannot let them say no,make it big!! HOW??? I really feel like slapping the president face. geramji.....

the worst task I've ever done.

我不甘心

walk and talk.

Life in usmkk is walk walk walk and WALK~~

Another new record.

Walking alone at midnight back to hostel.

Cold,no stars.

Only half moon and probably some stray cats.

After talking to you,

I still miss you.

Whenever I think of you,

I whisper to the sky,

and hope the wind would pass the message for me.

I believe you'll somehow know.

:)

Evening walk,

everything is the same

the tree,wind,road...

except the partner.

and we talked alot.

She undergoes the same thing

as I do.

She said the thing I couldn't say.

She encourages me and I encourage her.

Both of us

don't know worth it or not.

well,it all depends on how you value it.

After all,

it's never a true false question.

==

woke up at 7am

dragged myself like a zombie to classroom

a bunch of idiots

including me

waited for an hour

then she said

she thought is BT8

and she sticked the notice on BT8 door

what a lame excuse

you can be more irresponsible.

currently listen to

Two is better than one

replay and replay and replay...

for thousand times

for so many days

guess when will I get bored?

bruise + injection = pain

study + syok sendiri = me 2011

Rainy season

umbrellas unite!

saturday

weekdays fast fast come,I wanna go to class. and get myself real busy busy busy... la la la~

cooked my green bean with a kettle just now. geng le... more like doing an experiment and the result turned out to be good. well,I bet I can do better next time. Next,mr barley in a hot spring soup! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... less water less water,remember! was too excited,forgot to take picture. next time la. :D

WAnna go out,wanna go back.... sigh

A dream

I think my dream reflected my life recently.

No matter who,what,where,when,why,which,how

I'm always left behind.

Don't know why.

and slowly I've adapted to it already.

Complain less,smile more.

faking,pretending.

but slowly I'll be an expert.

then nobody will see my dark sad unhappy side.

I don't mind being alone..

But the problem is

I think a lot when I'm alone.

believe me when I say a lot.

somehow I wish someone would actually save me from this.

keep me company and you know,talk to me...

I wish I can forget all the unnecessary thing,

just like I forgot everything I studied before exam.

Life will be much easier that way.

Pain will never die because we constantly feed it with memories.

oh well,this is life.

be strong. ;)

It's just a "seem-like-real-life" dream.

take it easy,Esther Song.

pray for God's grace and mercy.

grace-receiving blessing that we don't deserve.

mercy-avoid punishment that we deserve.

Love the way they presented God in yesterday Christmas night.

Some part,

it touched me,indeed.

:)

being girly for a night.

mummy said I look nice wearing skirt and heels,keeping long hair and stuff.

and it's proven today.

many people commented.

more to compliment la.

well,that's the other side of me,perhaps.

the girly side.

mum will love to hear this.

but I never like it.

keeping long hair is just to block some people mouth.

because I look like a boy when I keep short hair.

wearing skirt just to please mum.

or maybe attending some dinner or function.

which I don't have to move around so much.

in future,

I'd still wear skirt.

once in a while.

out of expectation.

but then again,

in my wardrobe

you can only spot 1% is skirt

and all very new one

coz rarely wear.

LOLx

........

The sharp pain on my abdomen woke me up.

and it's killing me now.

URghhhh...

go away!

meaningful bunnies

stole this from Ivy's msn. ngak ngak ngak!

This is my biggest resolution for year 2011.

Daddy loves mummy

Mummy loves daddy

Daddy mummy love US!

Dear God,

Restore love and peace in our family,Lord.

Amen!

:)

May the Lord bless everyone with love and joy in this 2011. ;) abundantly!

I'm a lil bit unstable lately. XD

A facial mask

Play my favorite songs

A cup of hot milo

and realized

happiness is simple,actually.

:)

Apparently,I forgot to pamper myself like what I always did last time.

Urgh,stupid rain... give me back my spaghetti~!!!! XD

Moodie fluctuates.

It rains over and over again. The field is flooded,and the road...

A human dynamically interacts with the environment. The environment constantly changes and influences a person in many ways.

Maybe is the weather.

Maybe is the long winded lecture.

Maybe is the dinner.

Maybe is because I'm away from home.

Maybe is just the emotion thingy.

Whatever it is,I don't feel good today. Physically,emotionally,social interaction,psychologically,spiritually...everything. It's all empty inside... It has been a while.

while i eat,i look around

like a cat meowing for food under the table.

people always said don't feed it or else it'd come back again.

an act of kindness suddenly become bad.

why do people think before they give?

why do people reluctant to love animal?

is it because they thought of like nobody will take care of the cat once they have left?

or are they just selfish?

scared of the consequences of sympathy,

scared of the cat cannot be independent,

or are they just selfish?

if the cat can look for food itself,

it won't even cough a sound for sympathy.

we love because we sympathy?

or we sympathy because we love?

but then again,

why nowadays cats don't eat rat?

or catch longkang fish to eat?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

same like nowadays kid la

meowing for food.

what a pity.

something to reflect.

Nostalgic.

rain gently.

i thought of my hometown.

when i walked back alone.

my hometown rains in this way too.

it's like the rain is sieved before dropping from the sky.

it rains silently.

rain,falling in my heart.

called ah mi just now. seems like she's doing fine,watching tv. my family started to shop for cny groceries and hunt for new clothes dy. oh my,i still stuck here. just realized i'm going back on 28th January which i think everyone will be gone already. haha... =\

you know,i feel kinda lost,empty and blur ever since i came back. where's my enthusiasm? halo????

undergoing

Esther's refractory period.

7 early 8 early

Milo spilled. well,more like everything fall out of the cup. shoot,my table,chair,books,notes,floor..everything soaked with MILO! what the... early in the morning,accident happened. I blame no one,I'm careless most of the time.

Surprisingly,I don't have any big reaction. Clear my mess took me nearly 1 hour but I didn't mumble,didn't really complain,annoyed?...nothing at all. My brain was total blank this morning. LOLx Maybe bcoz I'm a lil bit unconscious. Thats why it happen. Just know that I hatta fix the problem as soon as it happens.

aiyoooo.. sim tiah my book!!!! become brown colour jor. and library book. =X

Lesson of this story is,put thing back to its original place after using it! There's a reason why mum teach me this since small. ok,now I've learned. Only now. XP

I think I've changed a lil bit. Maybe I should tell mum that I've grown up and I can take care of myself. No longer that impetuous maybe. Responsible? hmmmmmmm

Problems are not stop signs ; they are guidelines.

sleepover

Woke up feeling weak. Ouch,i can feel the ache of the muscles and the bruise. T.T oh gosh,the bruise looked so horrible. pain ah!!!! phew~

lil van

ying horrible yet entertaining singing

church

choir

friends,old and new

games

dinner at 9 or 10pm

fought with si patrick and i won

be a bad person

masks

new year countdown

people didn't answer my phone

wishes text,shake hand and hug

watched movie titled Blind side

I need a proper hug

si pregnant blackie

slept uncomfortably

woke up,6am

looked at the sky until 7am

good morning sms from sister

morning call from home

daylight

breakfast

mass with not more than 30 persons in a church

freezing cold inside the church

bid goodbye

Tesco

Secret Recipe

KFC == again

back!

Everyone is tired including me. But fun! XD