My heart aches.... :'(

Dad brought us out for shopping.

Not productive thou.

A little kid choked in the shopping mall.

In fact,I don't know what happened.

There was crowd and the child's dad was shouting his name.

The kid became so weak all in sudden.

Me,called myself student nurse

didn't stand up to do something.

I was freaked out.

What happened to me?

I just stood there and watched.

No,I didn't even dare to look at him

The kid cried after his dad did something

My dad asked me,could it be asthma?

ain't you nurse should do something?

I didn't dare to admit,I was very terrified...indeed.

Can I call myself a nurse then?

I know,if this is a test,I've failed entirely...

Lord,what is the message behind this?

When my aunt fell sick last time,

I didn't dare to visit her

I heard the illness has turned her into a very horrible state

Then I know

I'm afraid of illness

Today's incident makes me realized that

I'm so afraid of dealing with life/death

The fear is deeper than I ever realized...

Lord,I lift my fear to You.

Bless the child,I beg thee...

Anyway,I'm glad to be home

but sick of the house drama

I wished I can turn off how I feel

But now,I just wanna face it.

I know,when something good happens,bad is tagging along

This is my cross,that I have to shoulder

for lifetime

I heard God whispered don't be afraid,I'm with you.

I've stopped asking why,but to trust God.

I just wanna trust God.

I just need to trust YOU.

With You Lord,I'm strengthened and empowered.

Give me spirit to go thru all this...

Bless my parents,I beg thee

Although I'm home,

I don't feel good now.