Been thru alot.

I cried,
I prayed,
I learnt,
I forgive myself,
and I move on.

Something bad do happen.
My emotion seriously affected.

First,I didn't get the result I wanted aka dean list.
Instead my pointer dropped.
Of course I felt disappointed....very.
Oh well,learn from it and move on.
Biochemistry,I don't know why I couldn't get it this semester.
Probably because of all the pathways and stuff.
I'm not trying to find excuses for myself.
But seriously Biochemistry got me killed this time.
I only got a B.
and I remember I burnt midnight oil to study Biochemistry.
Last minutes effort can only get me a B.
Although kinda hard to accept,I accepted it.
I've tried my best.
I'll try harder.

Second,yesterday.
Regarding my job...
Everything went well..
Until the last bit.
Shyt,the last table didn't pay and they just went off.
Me,who in charge of cashier have to tanggung la.
40 bucks man. My two days salary.
Heart really aching lo.
But I learnt something last night.
I realized I have a very high EQ(waiseh).
My boss actually said alot to comfort me,
but at that time all the words sting.
I felt like I'm insulted.
I just hold my tears and drove home.
When I came home,my parents were still awake.
which is weird because normally they will be dreaming already.
Then I asked them why don't go to bed yet.
My mum said wait for you to come back.
Oh yeah,then I realized it is 12.30am already.
you know,counting the money and settle the problem...
I was late home and mum worried about me.
I just kept quiet and rushed to bathroom.
the tears couldn't hold anymore.
I wish to tell my mum what happened but I didn't.
Don't want to worry her anymore.
I thought I can just ignore it and go to bed.
But there's a rock on my chest,I can't sleep just yet..
wake up,pray the rosary while crying.
In the midst of prayer,I heard someone said
"treat yourself as someone else."
To feel,you need to be yourself.
To realize something,you need to be someone else.
I tried to see myself as my friend.
I guess most of the time,I've been too strict to myself.
Time to like you know,be more lenient to myself.
I can't always be so careful to avoid mistakes.
Something just bound to happen.
I need to forgive myself and stop feeling useless.
Slowly,my prayer guide me...
And I tell God,I'm gonna forgive myself and move on.
Jesus heals and take away my shame.
He is good. Praise Him. :)

Basically these are the two main thing that bothered me.

Society university,
The school I'm attending recently.
Growing up.