i found out i'm kinda possessive. I DON'T CARE, I WANT WHAT I WANT! like i normally say. hey,is it wrong to expect and fight for what you want? my studies,my parents,my siblings,my friends,my sleep,my entertainment,my everything. i remembered the time i got straight As for my upsr,mum bought me a video game player. since then, i've been taught to earn everything by my own effort.
now i've grown up,i realized that something doesn't work in this way especially relationship. i can't help but to accept it. i'm not afraid of love because i know reluctance might cost me to miss the one i loved. when i want something,i'll fight for it. when i love someone,i'll love them wholeheartedly. but i think i have a little problem in saying it out. instead,im more to the action type. time has slowly proven me wrong for expecting or depending on a person too much. many times,it doesn't follow my 'earn it' rule and i get frustrated.
however,as i said before, don't teach me to give up,i'll never learn. my heart was broken countless times,but God's love never fail. after a while,i'll be able to pick up myself and move on. there's something i can't either force or earn it. i can do my best but to have it or not,it depends on God,another party and lotsa lotsa conditions that tag along. for that part,i lift it to God. my pride and possessiveness,may God bless them and make them to be used in a correct way and shape me into a better person. =))
i do get jealous thou,when the things i want being taken. still in the process of learning... to share. hahaha... all the best,esther song!
ps : i got insomnia again. @.@
pss : i'm so gonna dead for next tues opse! geez,creepy
No comments:
Post a Comment